Monday, July 29, 2019

College Relationships Part 3: TEXTING

So many relationships these days are so focused around technology. It seems like flirting happens via text more than in person. With Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and other dating apps, it can feel like all relationships start between your two thumbs. Even relationships that start in person become social media relationships after a while.
I asked three of my guy friends from Wake Forest to answer some questions about dating and texting in college to help me in my third installment of College Relationships.

Who texts first?
Guy #1- “Not one girl has ever texted me first, so I text first. If a girl texts first that would be cool. I’d probably like her more if she did, because I like a girl that takes initiative. If a girl gives you her number a guy should text first. Guys are sometimes afraid to text because they don’t want to sound pushy. But, if a girl texts first then I have the go ahead.”
Guy #2- “Guys text first. Girls shouldn’t text first. Guys should be the ones initiating.”
Guy #3- “I agree. Guys text first. It would be nice but rare. We text first because there is a stigma that guys have to text first.”

How long does it take you to respond between texts?
Guy #1- “I respond whenever I have the chance. I am not one of those guys to play games.”
Guy #2- “I don’t respond right away. I respond 5-6 minutes between texts, if you respond right away it makes you seem thirsty, but it also depends on the circumstance and situation.”
Guy #3- “Depends on what you’re doing, how drunk you are, how cool you are trying to be.”

What happens if a guy texts you to come to a party? What does it mean?
Guy #1- “It implies he wants to hang out with you in a non-one-on-one, less intimate setting, it takes the edge off of things. Parties are where hookups happen so it could also mean he wants to hook up. Unless he’s your friend, but then again guys and girls cannot be friends. There is a 99% chance if he texts you to come to a party, he’s into you.”
Guy #2- “If a guy texts a girl to come to a party, the girl is getting hit on, and he wants to get with her. I rarely ask a girl to come to a party to just hang out. If I initiate and text her, 75% of the time, the night will end in something more.”
Guy #3- “It means I want to hook up with her. But I do also ask friends to go to parties.”

How to tell if it is a “booty call” text? What does it look like?
Guy #1- “‘You up?’ It’s usually a text later at night. ‘What are you doing?’ ‘What are you up to?’ ‘Do you want to hang out?’”
Guy #2- “I always text ‘yoooooo.’ If I’m texting someone late at night, they can tell what my intentions are.”
Guy #3- “’Yo, where u at?’ Or ‘Hey’ late at night.”

How can you tell he is interested over text?
Guy #1- “When I’m texting someone I’m not interested in; I’m just texting for communication purposes. It’s very basic. But if I’m into her, I ask questions about her and try to get to know her, ‘Hi, how are you? With an emoji.’ But don’t take my advice, I’m a horrible texter.”
Guy #2- “I text her a lot, and I am quick with response times. I will tell her I like her in person. But over text, I make the conversation more about her than me, and I try to sound like a nice guy.”
Guy #3- “I send her funny memes via text. If I like you, I will send you memes. I try to make the girl laugh as much as possible.” 

What to do if he leaves you unread?
Guy #1- “Believe it or not I leave girls unread because sometimes I don’t know what to say back and I don’t know how to reply. Girls shouldn’t panic, it’s not an end-all-be-all of the relationship or flirtation. Some guys play the game of leaving a girl unread, but he could just be busy.”
Guy #2- “I will leave her unread even if I want the conversation to continue just to see if she double texts. If she does, then she’s the girl for me.”
Guy #3- “If the conversation ended, I leave her unread or if she says ‘ha okay,’ because I don’t know how to respond to that.”

How do you feel about emojis?
Guy #1- “I appreciate emojis, they show your engaged, and into the conversation. ‘Lol’ with a smiley face is always better than just ‘lol.’”
Guy #2- “I never use emojis. Only sometimes with my mom.”
Guy #3- “No emojis for me.”

Click here to read Part 1 and Part 2 of College Relationships.

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