Tuesday, February 12, 2019

College Relationships Part 2: Flirting as Told by Two Gents and T&P from Wake Forest University

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to talk a little bit about LOVE!
My first blog post about college relationships from this summer was a huge success! I interviewed friends from all different colleges and compiled a deep analysis of college relationships.
This time around, I asked two of my guy friends from Wake Forest to give me their answers and now I am going to share them with you!

What is flirting? How do you flirt?
Guy 1: “I’m really nice to girls in a really goofy way. I’m not smooth, I just try to be as genuine as possible. If you can make a girl laugh, that’s my goal, it breaks down the wall of awkwardness and makes the girl more comfortable.”
Guy 2: “Flirting is the process of ultimately finding out if the individual is attracted to you back through verbal and physical signals. I hate games, but through flattery, asking them out on a date, asking them to a party, making them laugh allows you to see if they are into you.”
T&P: “I smile. I usually complement the guy and try to make him laugh.”

How do you approach someone in class or at a party?
Guy 1: “Find a similarity, find a common interest.”
Guy 2: “In class, I would sit next to them, come in early, ask them for help on something, and then probably give them a complement and then invite them to a party or get a meal.”
T&P: “If it’s in class, I talk to them about the class and maybe ask to study together or look over papers and exchange phone numbers. If it’s at a party and they are wearing a jersey or a cool shirt, I will go talk to them about it, and usually make a joke about them not being from New York, and how New Yorkers are better than whatever state they are from. This always gets the ball rolling!”
How do you know if someone is flirting?
Guy 1: “If you don’t know a guy and he comes up to you, 9/10 times he’s flirting with you.”
Guy 2: “If they follow you on Instagram, and you get their number and they add you on Snapchat, and they comment on your Instagram photos, then they are flirting.”
T&P: “All of the above!”

How to meet a possible significant other in college?
Guy 1: “Several different places: 1. In the classroom, sit next to them, introduce yourself. 2. At parties, but be weary, you can’t go to frat basements to find love. A hookup yes, but not a girlfriend. 3. Clubs. 4. Literally anywhere.”
Guy 2: “Tinder or in class. In class, I would sit next to a cute girl, and say hi.”
T&P: “Go to class and meet people! Make friends with everyone! Go abroad! Go to parties! I have met so many people that are friends of friends at the dining hall or at parties, and that have turned into crushes or possible significant others. You never know who you are going to meet and who is going to turn into a crush! Be nice to everyone! And meet everyone you can.”

How do you go from friends to more?
Guy 1: “Take things slow, start talking in class and then invite them to get lunch after class and then keep going and going. The most important thing is to get to know someone. It’s a relative time frame, you have to know them until a spark. You can’t purse someone just based on if someone is cool. If you don’t feel a connection with someone than you are not compatible. It’s good to be friends and be as comfortable as possible as friends before you move into a relationship. You either are friends and then date or you meet at a party or in class and date. If you aren’t friends with the person, and they are only a significant other, you can’t be yourself.”
Guy 2: “It would usually be being friends for a while and then asking them out on a date, or any situation that would lead back to your room or theirs and you can make out.”
T&P: “Take it slow, be friends, get to actually know the guy and then if you want to make the first move do it! Ask them to go out to eat, one on one, and see where the feelings are.”

Can guys and girls be friends?
Guy 1: “Guys and girls can’t be friends.”
Guy 2: “Yes, but only if one of those individuals is in a serious relationship.”
T&P: “NOPE!”

How is dating different the older you get in college? How is college and high school dating different?
Guy 1: “As you get older being in a relationship means more. When I was younger having a girlfriend was just something to have. When you get older, you find out who you are and can figure out what you want in a partner.”
Guy 2: “You become far less susceptible to playing games, you become far more direct and blunter. After a long-term relationship, you become far better at reading physical and non-physical signals. Depending on the individual, your standards can drop at the end of a long-term relationship, or you will be far pickier, because you know exactly what you like and what you don’t like, and you can narrow down your criteria.”
T&P: “I have noticed, that guys tend to settle down a bit and slow down the older they get. Some of them are done partying and being crazy for the most part and like to actually date, but others will always be in the party hook-up mentality.”

J.Crew Factory black ruffle sweater (similar) | faux fur vest | American Eagle burgundy jeggings | Tory Burch double pearl studs | Tory Burch black riding boots


Saturday, February 9, 2019

It’s Okay to Not Have a Plan

I am the queen of planning.
My planner has hour-by-hour schedules of my life.
Every weekend trip when I was abroad, was planned down to the detail, by yours truly.
But when I was abroad, I learned the importance of not always having a plan and going with the flow.

Right now, I do not have any definite plans for a lot of things.

I have no set plans for spring break.

I have no definite plans about what I’m doing and where I am living for senior year.

And I have no plan of what I am doing after college.
I have lots of ideas, but no concrete plans, for once in my life.

My goal for my whole life, as long as I can remember was to get into a great college, and now that I am in college, I don’t have another plan.

I want to go to law school, and always have, but I have no set plan of when I am going to take the LSAT, where I am going to go to law school and when.
And if I don’t go to law school directly after undergrad, I have no ideas about what I am going to do.
I am a bit clueless.

I may look put together, (a trench coat can be deceiving) but I am ultimately a bit confused and maybe a little lost.

As scary as it is for me to not have a real plan, and to not have every detail of my life figured out, I am accepting that it is okay.
I am just trying to go with the flow, and let life take me where ever I am supposed to go!

 Banana Republic classic trench coat | J.Crew bow t-shirt | American Eagle green jeggings | J.Crew Factory black belt | J.Crew Factory gold tassel earrings | Tory Burch black Reva ballet flats


Thursday, February 7, 2019

Denim Jacket Club

Kate, Victoria, and Alex are my four best friends that studied abroad with me in Dijon.
Together, the four of us create the Denim Jacket Club.
It just started one day, we were all wearing denim jackets, another friend made a joke about us, like we had planned it, which we didn’t, but then the group and the name was formed.

I love my denim jacket club members as much as I love my denim jackets.
I had a J.Crew one that I lost on the first excursion in France, click HERE to read that sad tale.
But, I repurchased a new one at Mango, and this one is more special because I bought it in Dijon.

Denim Jackets go with everything.
This blog post is just to share of my undying love for denim jackets and to announce that I will be sporting one probably every single day for the rest of the year!

Mango denim jacket | J.Crew Factory burgundy a-line dress | J.Crew Factory “New York” kerchief | Tory Burch cheetah Reva ballet flats | J.Crew Factory crystal link bracelet | Tiffany pearl studs


Monday, February 4, 2019

My Haircare Routine and GIVEAWAY

I can spend hours doing my makeup and picking out my outfit, but when it comes to doing my hair, I like to be as maintenance free as possible.
I am lucky that my hair is very straight and has a nice wave at the bottom of it. I have been blessed with beautiful hair and I love it.
Sorry to brag, but I love that I am able to let my hair air dry and occasionally in the morning, if there are any little kinks in the back of my head from sleeping, I can straighten them out with my flat iron.

But my least favorite part about my hair has to be my oily scalp.
I usually only go two days without washing my hair. On day three, my hair has to be up in a pony tail.

Formulate reached out to me to see if I would be willing to take a questionnaire and talk about my hair and hair goals so Formulate could personalize and customize a set of shampoo and conditioner to work with my hair.
I was so excited that they reached out!
Formulate’s shampoos and conditioners are sulfate free, paraben free, cruelty-free, and made in the USA, which made me even more excited to work with them.

The first step into getting my shampoo and conditioner was to fill out the questionnaire. It was very detailed and asked me for my hair type, hair color, hair texture, hair moisture, hair length and my scalp type: oily or dry.
After profiling my hair, the next set of questions asked me about what I wanted to change about my hair care routine and my hair.

My first instinct was to answer that I wanted to my scalp to be less oily!
Within the first wash, I was blown away by the lack of oil my scalp had and was able to hold off from washing my hair more than once a week without it looking gross! I was shocked. My friends immediately noticed that my hair looked different and commented on it at dinner. They said they couldn’t stop staring at it because it looked so healthy and shiny.

Back to the questionnaire, I also noted that I wanted to strengthen my hair, mend split ends, hydrate my hair and make it shiny and beautiful.
At the end of the questions, I got to pick the scent of my duo.
I picked the “At Dawn” sent. My hair smells like a rose garden.

When the shampoo and conditioner arrived in the box, they came with a card that said exactly what my shampoo and conditioner was going to do for my hair: mend split ends, hydrate my hair, protect it from heat and strengthen it. It also gave me instructions about how to wash my hair; five pumps of the sulfate-free shampoo, and five pumps of conditioner, as well as detailed instructions about massaging the shampoo into my scalp, everything I have known how to do since infancy. It was very funny.
The little card also gave me a list of all the ingredients in my duo. The three big ingredients that were included in my duo were Vitamin E, Coconut Oil and Polyquaternium-37. 

From the first use I was very impressed with my custom shampoo and conditioner. 
The two don’t lather, and they are very thin in consistency, because they are sulfate free, which made me concerned that my hair would not feel clean, but I have been so pleasantly surprised.
I cannot believe I can go five days without washing my hair even though that I take Pilates and spin classes weekly! 

While I was walking to class the other day, my friend stopped me on the quad and said that my hair looked so bouncy and beautiful! I thought that was so sweet of her, and I am so glad I am able to see a difference in my hair, just like my friends.
My hair looks great and feels great!

If you want to win your own set of customized shampoo and conditioner you can enter the GIVEAWAY HERE!


Tuesday, January 29, 2019

What’s in my Backpack: College Junior

I haven’t done a “What’s in my Bag?” blog post since almost five years ago, right when I first started my blog.
But I have decided to do this blog post to show you all the necessary items I keep in my backpack at all times, so whenever there is a fashion, school or girl emergency you can be prepared.

My backpack is from The North Face.
It has two large pockets, the biggest with a laptop sleeve, a smaller front pocket and two mesh pockets on the side.

In the largest pocket I keep my laptop, my planner and whatever books I use throughout the day.
I also carry around my Vera Bradley cosmetics case that I turned into a pencil case.

On the outside mesh pockets, I always keep an umbrella, you never know when the sky is going to start spitting (Winston Salem Spit).
I also keep my Camelback Chute water bottle. I am like a camel and drink about five liters of water a day. My hair, skin and metabolism all benefit. I also feel so awake and alive, no coffee necessary.

In the middle pocket, I keep my Tory Burch pink Robinson wallet.
I have two cosmetics pouches.
One with lady products in them, and the other with various headphones and a portable charger.

The smallest pocket keeps my phone when I’m in class, and my Louis Vuitton ID holder with Smathers & Branson Wake Forest key chain.
Also, in that pocket is my sunglasses, they change based on the day, hand sanitizer, band aids, Burts Bees chap-stick and a hair-clip.

Everything you could ever need all in one place!


Monday, January 28, 2019

White Shoes in Winter

I have always been the last one to hop on the band wagon for shoe trends. 
I think it is because I rather spend money on cute new blouses and dresses and wear my classic Tory Burch flats because I've have had them for years and they go with everything.
I appeared to be the last one in the world to buy cute walking sneakers last spring and now I am last again to follow the trend for slip-on shoes, in specific white ones.

For sorority recruitment this year (click HERE to read about it) I had to wear white closed toed shoes for day one.
I don’t own any white closed toed shoes, so over winter break, I was on the hunt for a pair of white shoes that I could wear again after Rush.
I found this adorable pair of Keds X Kate Spade New York white flat-form slip-ons online and I fell in love. (They're ON SALE!)

These shoes are not plain and ordinary, because I am neither of those two things, and have some girly details with the flowers.
These shoes are not the most comfortable around the heel, and gave me some blisters, but they are dang cute.

Go get your hands on some and wear them all throughout North Carolina winter with me and into the spring and summer time!

Pimkie light gray turtleneck | American Eagle x4 high-waisted jeggings | J Crew Factory orange and blue tassel necklace | J Crew Factory blue and tortoise shell sunglasses (similar) | Keds X Kate Spade white slip-on flat-forms


Friday, January 25, 2019

A Season of Love and Hate

Every day has its ups and downs.
Highs and lows.
Loves and hates.

I am in LOVE with my classes this semester.
I am taking 14.5 hours, two and a half of those hours being social dance, aka the new love of my life, and chorus. The other three classes are dedicated to Shakespeare, the English Renaissance and journalism.

My favorite class by far has to be social dance!
Three times a week I learn how to dance.
Right now, we are focusing on the waltz, probably one of the most romantic dances out there.
Something about partner dances makes me swoon.
A guy that can dance well gets brownie points from me.
I love dancing, I always have. I did ballet for seven years, and then continued to dance on stage in theatrical productions all of middle and high school.

I have come to learn that dancing, like any other sport or activity is all about confidence.
Confidence in your partner, confidence in yourself that you remember the steps and confidence in your body to dance!

When I was in ballet class, I was not confident.
I hated my body and hated the way I looked in a leotard. 
I hated that I was being judged by my looks and my ability to do a certain dance move.
Being back in a dance class has brought back those memories of being self-conscious, because I am forced in a room surrounded by mirrors.

I notice that I get to see and judge my body from all angles in class. 
I hate that I do that, but I can’t help to see my imperfections.

This semester it is alarming how many friends are struggling with feeling less confident in their bodies and are turning to binge eating or excessive exercise.
It has never been so evident to me before the number of friends and classmates that are troubled with eating disorders.

The news is very upsetting to me.
But I understand how hard it is to be a college girl and feel that everyone is always looking at you and judging you, and that the world feels like a mirror, everyone always looking at your imperfections, like the mirrors in dance class.

I have a healthy relationship with food but there have been times I have not treated my body properly and treated myself poorly by telling myself I was fat or that I didn’t like this part of my legs or that part of my butt.

Every day is not the same, some days I am more confident than others, but every day I try to remind myself that I am beautiful and that I am thankful that my body can dance in dance class without any physical impairments.

It is not easy to love ourselves. I find that I am very hard on myself, both physically at the gym but also mentally and emotionally.

Since the season of Valentine’s Day is coming up, I want to make a vow to love each and every part of myself, each and everyday.
Let’s make it our mission to love others the same.
Ignore the “imperfections” and just be happy and thankful for your health and your life.


Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Culture Shock After Studying Abroad

I am back at Wake Forest after the most amazing semester in Europe.
(Click HERE to read my summary of my study abroad adventure).
However, coming back to Wake was not as easy as I thought it was going to be.

One of the points I make in my abroad summary blog post is that I was pleasantly surprised that I adjusted very well to France and Europe quickly after arriving.
I didn’t have much of a culture shock.
I found France very comfortable and similar to home.
However, when I did return home I was overwhelmed by culture shock.

I didn’t feel like myself.
I felt very disconnected from my family and friends.
I brushed it off and figured it was just jet lag that was causing these feelings, but it continued all the way until I moved back to school, three weeks later.

I later talked to my friends who were abroad with me and we all said the same thing, that we were all affected by reverse culture shock. 

Normally, students face culture shock when studying abroad, because the culture in a foreign country is completely different than their homes. For me, and some of my friends, as I later found out, it was the reverse; only after I returned home, was I in shock.

Moving back on to campus, was so overwhelming. I felt so out of it.
I felt weird for a day or two, but now that I am starting to get into a routine and remember what it is like to be a student at Wake Forest, I am moving out of my shock.

From what I gather, my reverse culture shock is from all the changes that happened over the course of a very short time.
I lived in a new country and spoke a different language for four months, became well adjusted, and left my home, friends, family, language and culture behind. 
And then once I returned to the states, I had to readjust to my family, friends, house, culture and language.

It sounds crazy because I have lived on Long Island in the same house my whole life, but seriously, being abroad changed me.
It was so weird coming home.
I was so happy to, don’t get me wrong, but it felt strange and different.
I had spent four months alone in another country and felt disconnected from my home and my family.

I have always been very close to my family, but during my time abroad, I became a bit disconnected from them because of the time difference.
Sad as I am that that happened, I feel I became more independent.
With that being said, I am still adjusting to being back in the states.
It is amazing that I can now call my mom again every day on her drive home from work, like I have for the past six years and call my dad whenever because we are in the same time zone.

I am adjusting to living in North Carolina again after nine months apart.
I am also trying to balance spending time with my friends from before abroad and my new ones.

The adjustment has been weird, and I am glad that I have friends that feel the same way that I do, and that I am not alone.
If you have any recommendations on how to readjust back after being abroad or any similar experiences, please let me know!

J Crew cream knit sweater | American Eagle x4 Jeggings | Vince Camuto brown riding boots | J Crew gold tassel earrings | Michael Kors gold Blair watch 


Tuesday, January 15, 2019

First Day of Class and my Junior Year Dorm Room

Happy 2019!

I am back in North Carolina after a semester abroad to finish out my junior year.

I moved in on the 6thand have been on campus for a week participating in sorority recruitment.
Sunday was Bid Day (you can read more about Rush and Bid Day HERE), and yesterday was the first day of class!

I was so excited to move back on to campus and see all of my sorority sisters and friends after months and months apart.
But if I’m being honest, I was extremely overwhelmed my first day back during sorority rush.
I was still trying to set up my new room and also see all my friends and catch up on our lives!
It was a lot.
It took me a day to get situated from my culture shock and back to normal.
A week later, and I feel like I never left!

My room this year is another single on the quad.
I snagged the last single available and I am SO happy!
It is not as big as my single from last year, and nothing can compare to that beautiful room, (click HERE to see it) but this one is perfect for me!
I kept my décor and my room layout the same as last year, as best as I could, except that the only two outlets I have are both on the same wall, talk about annoying!

I love my new little room and I am so excited to be back!
I have a very exciting semester ahead and I cannot wait to share it all with you!

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